Tuesday, September 17, 2013

What I Look for in a Friend - Writing 2

By Pamela den Ouden

When I was in grade five, I went to a new school. There, I met a new friend. After a short while, we were inseparable. Her family lived three blocks from my family. We used to run home from school at lunch and eat at her place. We almost always ate the same thing: tomato soup with lots of crackers broken up in it and a glass of milk. Then we would dash back to school, often getting there just as the bell was ringing. We spent a lot of time together doing other activities. We would walk each other home or stand at the corner talking, not wanting to leave each other. This friend exemplified the qualities that I still look for in a friend: reliability, an easy-going personality, and generosity.

First, when Valerie said she would meet me to walk to Girl Guides together, I could count on her to be at the corner at the pre-arranged time because she was reliable. This quality is still important to me. I want my friends to be reliable. If I call them because I have a problem, I want to be able to count on them to help me out. For example, once I had a flat tire. I had never changed a tire before, so I called a friend, and he came within a half-hour to help me. This is also the kind of friend I try to be. I think reliability shows respect for the other person and their time.

Next, an easy-going personality is a strong quality in a friend. I don’t need friends who stress me out! I want friends who get along with others and aren’t trouble-makers. They like to relax and talk about everyday things and also important issues. As I remember, Valerie was this kind of friend to me. I remember laughing a lot and talking, talking, talking! I think I am more easy-going now than I was when I was younger, and I hope this is an attractive quality to the people I meet.

Most importantly, generosity is a hallmark in a good friend. Generosity means giving of time, giving of attention, and maybe sometimes even giving of money. It’s hard for me to call people “friends” if, every time I call them up to invite them to go for coffee, to a movie, or another event, they are always busy doing something else. It’s hard, too, if they never call me up! Friends have to have time or make time for each other. Valerie and I certainly had that kind of friendship.

The word “friend” has taken on a new meaning with the advent of Facebook. “Friend” is a verb, and “unfriend” is a verb. It seems as if some people are in a contest to see how many friends they can have. I’ve seen people with 1,236 friends. Really? These are not the kind of friends I want. I still want friends who are reliable, easy-going, and generous.

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